Werk totdat ik dood ben

It’s raining this morning, and I’m sitting by the Meuse. I hope that these pages don’t get wet. Currently, France Gall is in my ears, and a lovely waitress just brought me a cappuccino, which I can smell, but perhaps don’t want to enjoy yet- partly because of that lovely smell.

It’s dark and grey outside here, and I feel a million bucks with the most modern English outfit on- a flannel shirt, jeans, brown brogue boots, a brown suede jacket, and finally a beautiful woollen scarf I bought in Edinburgh.

The wind is weak, but noticeable, and the river is strong. With the St. Servaasbrug on my right, and Maastricht’s gorgeous row of old white houses, I have a mighty backdrop.

Over the past day I’ve spoken to many people about how I’m feeling, and I’m disappointed to report that Daan, one of my favourite people at uni, will be leaving soon as well.

Well, I say “as well”, even though I still don’t know my true intentions here. I don’t hate my degree, but I don’t love it. I feel like there should be more- it just all feels so unimportant. I would like my ideas and work to be put to good use and good work to be recognised, not just slapped with a number and forgotten.

I’m also having doubts about whether to share these things in my website. I’m afraid of judgement, of rejection. Isn’t one’s public image meant to be that of a macho, stoic warrior entrepreneur that never sleeps, eats perfect meals thrice a day and only shits while writing emails in one hand and reading philosophy in the other?

I recognise that this hustle culture is what makes me -in part- feel bad in this situation, but I also see no other way. In order to get to the, so-called, “top”, one has to fight hard and work for it. Nobody will hand anything to me.

And it’s for this reason that I am still working hard. Because there are dreams to pursue, and sunsets to chase.

Speaking of, I have a meeting with Sebastian in 15 minutes, and I should leave soon to make it on time.

We’re building an app to connect investors to startups like never before. It’s sort of the reason I’m writing this now, I never planned for this to be written, in some sort of way, it merely fell out of me.

Right, well, I’ll get out of here and go do something important for EUrope and the world now. Maybe somebody will read this later, though I doubt it.

Tot zo!

Alex

AJR - Maastricht, 2025