Feest onder de sterren

Dear reader,

I would like to preface this by apologising in advance for any poor handwriting or formatting in the following letter— it is pitch black and I’m using my phone torch (wedged down my trousers!) and a little bit of wit and guessing to figure out where I’m writing!

You join me in a field in Flevoland, where I have been at the Scout-In 2025, a sort of networking camp for Dutch scouts.

The clouds obscure my view of the stars, which after inspiring me yesterday, I decided I should endeavour to see more of. I’ve a clam playlist in my ears- Fleetwood Mac, The Doobie Brothers, Little River Band, to name a few- and a rather unsettling bass passes intermittently through my bones.

My chair is in the middle of the field, away from any tents or civilisations, and I see but a few distant torches. Without my light, only the darkness itself guides a path back to bed.

It is warm, but as ever, the de wind waait, de stomme vind. It unsettles my hair.

For the first time in a week, today I felt important. I felt that I was doing the right thing, and that I was not wasting time.

Although I have not met any new people, I am happy that I feel closer to the Jan van Gent community. Slowly by surely, things improve there.

I did not expect today to be the first time that I enjoyed a music festival, but that was the case. Alone in the crowd, I listened to an amateur cover band play, and forgot for a moment that I was alone, and forgot for a moment that I was sad. As if I were floating, time distracted and I was truly in the moment, in the darkness, surrounded by a small crowd of a few hundred strangers brought together in song.

I may not have met any interesting strangers, or supermodels, or figured out what I wanted to be, but for a moment, for two short hours, I felt alive under the stars.

Next week I must return to working on uni gigs and catch u p what I failed to do this week. I must balance work and school and scouts and friends and business.

Moreover, I must not let myself or anybody down. I must find my purpose.

Perhaps, there is hope.

AJR - Zeewolde, 2025